


Roots in a Wasteland

by AllFuckedUpOnLove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Botanist Castiel (Supernatural), Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean/Cas Reverse Bang, Domestic, First Kiss, Flowers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gardens & Gardening, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Science Fiction, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 08:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30001848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllFuckedUpOnLove/pseuds/AllFuckedUpOnLove
Summary: In the fallout of an asteroid crash that caused the Earth to be plagued by toxic gas, Castiel is hired as the head of Multiverse Bio Corp. where he is tasked with engineering new plant species to combat pollution and disease. When one of his favorite Biodome guests, Dean Winchester, stays a little too close to the nation-wide lockdown, Cas invites him back to his place for dinner. As they bond over a shared tragic past, and their desire for stability in a chaotic world, something special begins to bloom between them.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34
Collections: Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2021





	Roots in a Wasteland

**Author's Note:**

> This is my post for the 2021 Dean/Cas Reverse bang. I had a great time writing this story, and getting to see the AMAZING art of my challenge partner whichstiel, so hopefully you enjoy it as well.
> 
> [Link](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879886) to Whichstiel's art post  
> [Link](https://deancasreversebang.tumblr.com/post/645483101204692992/title-roots-in-a-wasteland-artist) to Masterpost
> 
> * Content Warning: There are brief suicidal thoughts mentioned in the story, but there is no action to correspond with that.

A train whistle blows in the distance, and a familiar rumble shakes the walls of the building. Four o’clock, right on time. The rumble grows till it feels like a minor earthquake, then it stops. The last group of the day is here.

Cas puts on his gasmask and walks to the lobby to greet his arrivals. The glass doors slide open, and in comes an eclectic crew. It’s a mix of humans, here to tour the garden, Intergalactic Mail drones, here to pick up orders being shipped to foreign planets, and Space Marshals, here to pick up orders for the moon colony. 

Cas hadn’t originally intended to run Multiverse Bio Corp., but he was the best person for the job. It worked out for the best though, because he enjoys what he does, and the pay is awesome. He gets to spend the day cultivating new plant species and figuring out ways to use nature to combat pollution and disease. Most importantly, he gets to help people.

He notices one of his favorite patrons, Dean Winchester, is part of the group. He’s tall, a little rough around the edges, and has eyes that Cas would love to describe, but he hasn’t found a plant quite that shade of green.

A guide named Hannah corrals the tour group, and Cas takes the opportunity to pull Dean aside. He looks like something is weighing on him. His jaw is tight and he’s guarded. He’s not his usual smiling and personable self. 

Cas knows how much Dean loves to look around the experimental greenhouse, and when he asks if Dean would like to go back there, his invitation is quickly accepted.

“You’ve been coming here a lot,” Cas says, his tone non-judgemental, simply pointing out an observation. He swipes his badge on the key reader for the greenhouse door. It opens with a whoosh. 

“It’s relaxing. Life has been a little chaotic lately.” Dean shifts his eyes to the ground, fiddling with a loose string on the hem of his shirt. He likes it here. It’s peaceful, and the air is so clean you don’t have to wear a mask inside. Of course you have to go through the decontamination room first, which kind of sucks, but Dean thinks it’s worth it.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“No. I just want to see the flowers.”

Dean walks into the room first, and as soon as he does, his eyes light up in awe. Every time Dean comes here, it seems to be more beautiful than the last time. Everywhere you look there are pops of color. Bright reds and pinks, sunshine yellows, deep, rich greens.

It’s nothing like the outside world. Out there, the sky is rusted, the air is smog, and the trees have been reduced to rotting bones. There hasn’t been a patch of grass on a front lawn in a decade. It almost feels like none of that was real. Never could have been real. Like when you look at pictures of dinosaurs, and you know that they existed, but you just can’t imagine them being real. Tangible.

But here it’s different. There’s life, blooming all around from every corner and crevice. And it’s all thanks to Cas. He’s humble, and says it was a group effort, but Dean knows better. He’s made discoveries and creations that have helped all kinds of species on several planets, and if that’s not a genius, Dean doesn’t know what is.

“Are these new?” Dean asks, pointing to a hanging pot filled with bright yellow flowers.

“No, but they just bloomed the other day. Beautiful, aren’t they? They’re my favorite.”

Cas explains that they’re a hybrid of marigolds from Earth and lemium from Ozinine. The yellow is pure, almost as if the sun was concentrated, but doesn’t burn your eyes while looking at it. He loves the color.

Cas discovered the flowers last year, and he considers it a great accomplishment. When dried up and brewed into tea, the drink has been shown to counteract stomach singe. While rare, people were dying from holes being burned through their stomach, and thanks to Cas, doctors were able to lower the death rate.

“And what about these?” Dean asks, running his fingers through a bunch of nearly black, pulsating vines.

“You know how when you pick a dandelion, you can squeeze milk out of the stem?”

Dean looks at him, blankly. “No.”

Right. Dean probably doesn’t remember dandelions, and Cas hasn’t found a valuable use for it in his lab, so he doesn’t grow it.

“Okay, well,” Cas opens a drawer and takes out a knife, using it to slice open a piece of Aloe Vera, “it’s kind of like this.” He scoops out a dollop of gel with his fingers and holds it out so Dean can see it.

“So, you scrape out some weird goop from the vines?”

Cas scoffs, “That weird “goop” happens to work as a sunblock for the inhabitants of the Whirlpool Galaxy. Their sun is much more harmful than ours, but the vines only grow on Earth.”

Dean nods, venturing through a side door into the tourist-friendly section of the biodome. It’s his favorite spot, right under the cascading wisteria. 

At home, he has a photo album that his dad made, and in it there’s a picture of his mother, Mary, that he loves. She’s maybe 20 years old, and she’s standing on a wooden bridge, surrounded by little drops of purple. He didn’t know what the flowers were called, but when he asked Cas if they were the same flowers that were growing in the dome, he said yes.

The photo is kind of faded, taken on a Polaroid years ago, but Mary’s smile is still bright as ever. Her engagement ring caught a glint of the sun, and it flared. But honestly, it just made her look even more beautiful.

Dean never got to know that woman, the one who seemed so happy in a world that hadn’t fallen apart, but being near the flowers makes him feel connected to her.

He wonders if whatever happens when you leave this life would be as warm and welcoming as his mother’s smile. But knowing his luck, he’d probably be met with endless dark. That’s what he deserves. He doesn’t matter on Earth, so why would he matter anywhere else? He could disappear right now, and it wouldn’t make a difference. What’s the point of trying to stay? Trying to hang on? At least if he’s in the ground, his body will nourish the earth. He’d be good for something.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice snaps Dean out of his trance.

“Sorry. I kinda zoned out there.”

“Not to ruin your fun, but it’s going to be lockdown soon.”

Dean checks his watch, and realizes he’s been sitting in the same spot for nearly 30 minutes.

“Sorry, man. I’ll get going. Thanks for letting me hang out with you.”

“Wait!” Cas takes a step forward, trying to formulate a sentence that he didn’t have planned. “How far away do you live?”

“Not far. Couple miles.”

Cas looked down at the ground, trying to gain the courage to say what he's trying to say.

"If you're not doing anything, maybe you could come back to my apartment? It’s not much, but I have beer and I make a pretty good spaghetti bolognese.”

Dean bites his lip, trying to hide a smirk. He sinks back into the person he knows he has to present to the world. “Well, I can’t imagine you cooking, so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer. Just so I can see it for myself.”

Cas puts on his gas mask and grabs one for Dean. He only lives across the street, so they’ll make it there before the lockdown hits. It’s a particularly smoggy night. It looks like a dense fog set in over the town. That’s the downside to whatever the hell this stuff is, it’s in the oceans and rivers and lakes, and all day, it absorbs heat from the sun, then at night, it releases toxins as it cools down. 

From what they’ve been told, it’s fallout from a huge asteroid crash that happened about 10 years ago. The rocks smashed into each other, broke off into chunks of space debris, fell to Earth, and ever since there’s been an uncontainable gas being released from the water. 

Luckily, they can still purify the water so it’s safe to drink, but the air is an entirely different beast. The gas masks help to reduce exposure, but there are so many people who don’t believe they work. They think whatever this gas is, they’ll build up immunity to it. It’s stupid. 

People are dying at such a high rate that world leaders worked together to create a colony on the moon. The crematoriums can barely keep up. Every night when lock down commences, the vaccubots sweep the streets, attempting to purify the air as much as they can. Cas’s main mission is to find some hybrid plant that can take in this gas and turn it into oxygen. Or at least something that can help clean the air. It’s a crisis. And most days, it feels like there’s no way out.

But tonight, neither of them are worried about that. They want to put reality on the backburner, and pretend that two friends could hang out like normal. Like people used to. 

When they get to Cas’s place, Dean is surprised by the set up. When Cas told him the apartment was provided by Bio Corp., he figured it would be all white, minimalist, clean lines and platinum finishes, but it isn’t like that at all. It’s homey. The living room has a thick, tan carpet, the walls are lined with bookshelves that are loaded with books, a record player sits in the corner, art work decorates the walls. 

Cas offers him a glass of wine, but Dean politely declines. He never developed a taste for the stuff, but when Cas offers him a beer, he jumps at the offer. It’s nothing special, but it’s a taste he’s familiar with. It takes him back to simpler times. 

Dean looks around at all the little trinkets Cas has. Personal plants, mosaics, and glass angel figurines. Then he looks up to see the framed photos hanging under a carved wooden sign that reads “Family.”

“Are these all your brothers and sisters?”

Cas nods, walking over to where Dean is. He goes through each picture, highlighting who was who. Dean thinks he would’ve liked to meet Gabe, and thinks he probably would’ve punched Michael. He notices, though, that there are no pictures of Cas’s parents on the wall. 

Cas’s face falls. It’s a bit of a sore subject, one that he doesn’t mind talking about, but that strangers tend to be uncomfortable hearing and immediately regret asking about. But he feels like Dean would understand, so he tells him. 

Cas’s father, Chuck, was a rolling stone kind of man. Didn’t like to stay in one place too long, got bored easily, and always was on the hunt for something more exciting than what he currently had. That’s how he met Michael and Luce’s mother. 

She was a spitfire. She liked to party, and lived a spontaneous life. Which was fine, until she found out she was pregnant with twin boys. She didn’t want the responsibility of raising children, so she left. Chuck didn’t try to stop her. In fact, at first, he saw it as a blessing. He wasn’t chained down to one woman. He was free to play the field. 

Then he met another woman, one who was more conservative. She rarely drank, liked to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, and reserved her partying for dinners with friends. She and Chuck hit it off, and nine months later, along came little Castiel. 

He doesn’t remember much about his mother, in fact, he only has one picture of her, and that one he keeps in his bedroom for safekeeping. 

“What happened to her?” Dean asks, understanding the heartbreak of losing a mother so young. 

“When I was about two, she gave birth to Gabe. Everything seemed fine at first, but there was a complication and her heart gave out.”

“She died?” 

Cas nods, a solemn grimace on his face. “Dad tried for a couple years, but he spiraled. I think her death hit him too hard, and he didn’t know what to do with us, or with himself. When I was about four, he went a little too far off the rails, and I ended up in foster care with Gabe. We didn’t really get to know Michael and Luce until much later. We don’t talk much, but it was nice to have some kind of family, you know?”

The mood in the room shifts, but not in the way Cas expects it to. 

“My mom died when I was young too. It was just me, my dad, and my brother Sam.” Dean doesn’t talk about his personal life. Ever. But he thinks Cas, of all people, will understand where he’s coming from. And maybe he can let Cas know he’s not alone in all of this. 

“Dad turned to the bottle. Became a drunk. And not a nice one. A lot of the time I had to take Sam and ride our bikes to our Uncle Bobby’s house just to keep us safe.” 

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, it happens. Important part is that I was able to protect Sam. Kid’s doing pretty damn good, so I guess I didn’t mess him up too bad.” Dean lets out a light chuckle, half joking, half wondering what Sam could’ve accomplished if he was given a normal life. 

“Is your dad no longer in the picture?”

Dean shakes his head. “He um. He died a couple years back. Got blackout drunk and passed out behind a dumpster near his favorite bar. He didn’t have a mask on, and he inhaled too much of the gas and uh… yeah.” 

Cas runs his hand along Dean’s arm in an attempt to bring him some comfort. Dean’s throat is tight, and his words come out as if he’s on the verge of crying. 

He is. 

The two take a moment, looking at the faces on Cas’s wall, trying to process what any of their grief means in this day and age. What two lost parents mean in a decade of thousands of lost parents. What a brother taking on the role of father means when mothers and fathers are now childless. 

“How about that pasta?” Cas asks, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Sounds great.” 

Cas puts on some music and fixes their plates. Dean takes his with extra meat, because honestly, it smells delicious, and it probably tastes just as good. 

Upon taking his first bite, Dean finds he was correct. Cas is a damn good cook. 

“Dude, this is delicious.” 

“Thank you.” Cas smiles as Dean shovels the pasta into his mouth. To some it would be seen as rude, but Cas finds it endearing. And also quite the compliment. 

“So,” Dean started, spinning a clump of noodles on his fork, “did you always want to be a mad plant scientist?”

“No,” Cas laughs, “I did always have a fascination with nature though. When I was maybe seven or eight, I wanted to be a beekeeper.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I pissed off my foster parents, let me tell you. I managed to capture, like, 20 bees from the backyard, and I kept them in this glass jar on my dresser, which I hid under one of my baseball caps. Well, one day, I’m looking at the bees, just holding my little jar and staring at them.

“Next thing I know, my foster mom comes barging into my room, asking for dirty laundry, and she scares the crap out of me. I scream, and jump, and the jar of bees goes flying into the air. It comes crashing down on the floor, the glass shatters, and the bees start swarming all over the room. You would’ve thought I had killed someone with all the screaming.”

“What happened to the bees?” Dean asks, his eyes wide with shock. 

“We got a window open, and some managed to fly out. My foster dad killed the rest though.”

“Damn, I’m sorry.”

“Ehh. It’s whatever. Things come and they go, so is the way of life.”

“Okay, Aristotle,” Dean jokes. 

“And what about you? What did little Dean Winchester want to be when he grew up?”

To be honest, Dean hadn’t really thought about it since he was a kid. Outside of the consistent desire to be a cowboy, Dean would have to guess he wanted to be someone who built things. He’d build all types of houses out of Legos as a kid, and one Christmas, Uncle Bobby got him one of the big Lego sets so Dean could build the Batmobile. It’s probably the best Christmas present he’s ever gotten.

“Guess I just wanted to get my hands dirty. Make something out of nothing. Can’t say I’ve done too much of that these days though.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve been working as a stock boy at the market downtown.”

“That doesn’t sound like you enjoy it.”

“I don’t. I was hoping to take over my Uncle Bobby’s auto shop. He always said I had a gift when it came to cars.”

“Why can’t you do that?”

Dean’s faint smile fades into a frown. “He had to shut it down. We weren’t getting enough business. I don’t have the proper credentials to do anything else, so. Here I am. Trying to put down roots in a wasteland, and it seems so pointless sometimes.”

Cas nods. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s pointless to keep fighting when everything around you wants you to quit. I think that’s very brave.” 

Dean hides his smile behind another bite of pasta. He never thought of it like that. Never thought of himself as brave. But with Cas saying it, it’s not so hard to believe.

As they eat, they go back and forth sharing interests and telling stories. Cas has plenty about his failed plant experiments, but Dean wants to hear the one about the time he almost blew up the Biodome.

“Okay,” Cas starts, “A group of plants I had recently bread started producing high levels of hydrogen, but I didn’t know that. So one day, I go to plug in my coffee maker, and the plug sparks, and this huge fireball fills the room.” 

“How did you not die?” Dean asks, head tilted to the side, jaw slack. 

“Luck, I guess. It was scary as shit though. Half the room was on fire, but the extinguisher foam got triggered, white crap sprayed all over the place, and the fire was out in under a minute. The clean up might’ve actually been the worst part.” 

“I bet. Glad you’re alive though. This world would suck without you.” Dean goes back to eating his pasta, paying little attention to Cas’s response to the sentiment.

There was something in the way Dean said those words that struck Cas. He knows they’re just friends, and that Dean probably meant that Cas has helped the general world for the better, but it doesn’t matter. His heart is already running away with the possibility that Dean could think that highly of him. That maybe he’s had an actual impact on someone’s life. That it was Dean’s world that would suck without him.

He tries to get his thoughts back on track, because he doesn’t want to mess this up. Doesn’t want another vacancy in his life. He’s had plenty of friends come and go, and eventually he recovers, but Dean is different. 

He doesn’t try to suck up to Cas because he’s a high-profile biological engineer. He doesn’t make things up because he thinks that’s what Cas wants to hear. And when Cas talks, or rambles on about something, he feels like Dean listens. Really listens. Takes the time to comprehend the stories, their meaning, to know him for him. 

And here he is, sitting at his dining room table, eating this makeshift meal Cas threw together, and he’s not complaining. He’s just slurping up the noodles, and smiling between bites as the corners of his lips lift his freckled cheeks, and he’s looking back at him with those beautiful, indescribable eyes and…

 _Oh_.

Oh no.

“Do I have something on my face?” Dean asks, eyebrow raised, as he reaches for his napkin.

Cas realizes he’s zoned out, daydreaming about the possibility that Dean might reciprocate his newly acknowledged feelings. “No, sorry. Can I take your plate?”

Dean nods, handing his plate over. He cleared it, and Cas takes that as another compliment. He’ll have to cook more often.

After rinsing the dishes, Cas makes a big bowl of popcorn and suggests they watch a movie. Dean is game, as long as there’s extra butter on the popcorn. 

They move to the living room and get settled in on the couch. Cas pulls a remote from one of the drawers, but it doesn’t look like one that Dean has seen before. It has a sleek, black color, and is kind of shaped like a cuff bracelet. It’s weird because it doesn’t have any physical buttons. 

“Have you gotten to use one of these yet?” Cas asks, holding the remote out to Dean.

“Nope. Don’t think I’d know how, anyway.” Dean has never seen anything like this in person. Only from time to time in commercials. This is the kind of Jetsons stuff he grew up thinking would be all the rage in the future, and now, it’s just another toy for people who have that kind of money to toss around.

Cas smiles and shows Dean how to change the channels and adjust the volume. How to get the TV to switch to hologram mode and virtual reality mode. It’s super advanced technology.

“The coolest feature is the mood recommendation.” 

Dean raises his eyebrows as Cas shows him how it works. 

“You put your finger right here, and the computer registers the best movie or TV show for you to watch based on the kind of mood you’re in.” 

The second Cas touches Dean’s hand, Dean tries to burn the feeling into his brain. Cas’s hands aren’t as calloused as his own, but they’re bigger. They’re gentle as they guide Dean’s thumb to the scanner pad on the remote. After a flash of light, the TV makes its suggestion.

“Based on your mood,” a robotic voice rang from the surround sound speakers, “I would recommend Our Handsome Gardener. Rated X. Filmed in 2015. Matt finally succumbs to his urge to play with the family gardener’s hose. He hopes to convert this hot horticulturist into a horny-culturist by sucking on his huge-” 

“Oh my god, make it stop!” Dean panics, sliding his hand all over the remote, trying to get the voice to shut up. 

“Here.” Cas grabs the remote and hits the home button, thankfully silencing the recommendation. 

The room is silent. Neither man knows what to say that won’t make the other feel even more uncomfortable. It feels like it lasts hours. Every possible sentence gets swallowed back down before it even has a chance to be spoken. A clock ticks from somewhere else in the house, and Dean chooses to focus on that so he doesn’t puke all over Castiel’s couch.

“So, maybe we should just pick a movie the old fashioned way, huh?” Cas says, daring to break the tension. 

“Sounds good to me.”

Cas clicks play on the first movie that comes up. It’s some b-list romcom, but it’s rated PG-13, and that’s all Dean needs to know. Everyone will be clothed, and hopefully if there is a gardener, all they’ll be doing is gardening. 

The opening scene plays, and the awkwardness starts to dissipate, only to be replaced with a new set of worry in Dean’s head.

Is it a date? Or is this just dinner and a movie between bros? Did Cas invite him over just to hang out or did he have other motives? They never really discussed it.

Before Dean can ponder the question further, Cas grabs a blanket off the back of the couch and drapes it over both of their laps. It’s soft and cozy. 

Dean thinks, okay, maybe it is a date. 

Then Cas sets the popcorn bowl directly between them, and he’s back to thinking it’s a bromance. 

Their hands touch as they both reach into the bowl, and it makes Dean’s stomach flip, and wow, this is confusing. His cheeks are still flushed with embarrassment, and now he’s acting like a middle schooler because his hand brushed a cute guy’s hand. But screw it, he probably already made the biggest fool of himself possible, he might as well flirt. 

They smile at each other, then go back to staring at the screen.

The next time Cas reaches his hand in, Dean’s quick to put his hand in on purpose, taking his time to grab the popcorn. Cas doesn’t pull back, or seem uncomfortable. It’s hard to read though. Until it’s not.

“Dean, if I didn’t know better I’d say you wanted to hold my hand.”

“And what if I did?” Dean turns his eyes away from Cas, a moment of bashfulness that he isn’t used to. It’s not like he’s never flirted before, but there’s something about Cas that makes it difficult. Or makes it better?

Cas doesn’t respond. Instead he scooches closer to Dean, setting the nearly empty bowl on the table.

“Then I’d let you.” Cas winks at Dean before turning his attention back to the movie.

Dean looks at him, a little caught off guard, but by no means is he complaining about it. He looks down and sees that Cas has his hand, palm facing up, resting in the narrow space between them. It’s tempting. Cas told him it would be okay. Why does he have to overthink everything?

Deciding that his head can fuck right off, Dean reaches over and laces his fingers between Cas’s. It’s barely even a motion, but Dean is petrified. Cas squeezes his hand, and it’s so gentle that Dean almost pulls away. Feels like something he isn’t supposed to have. Isn’t allowed to have. Feels like a pulse of hope that good things might happen for him.

He lifts his head and notices how the light from the TV somehow makes Cas’s eyes look a darker blue. And how he has a couple freckles near his nose. And how the stubble along his jaw would probably prick his chin if they kissed.

And that’s when Dean jumps, breaking himself out of his indulgent reverie, startling Cas and himself with the motion.

“Is everything alright?” Cas asks, looking as if he might have somehow hurt Dean.

“No, I’m fine. Sorry. Just… thought I felt a bug on my leg,” Dean lied, because that seemed like the best option. 

“Okay.”

God. This is possibly the worst date Dean has ever been on, and he’s still not sure it even is a date. Why does he have to be such a disaster?

“Dean, is something wrong? You seem tense.”

“No,” he lies again.

“You sure?”

Dean figures there’s no point sitting here feeling awful when he could just be honest. 

“I … um…” He stops, the words ‘I like you’ clog his throat— a cork of repression keeping whatever these new feelings are bottled inside. “I’m sorry about the porn thing,” he says instead. “I didn’t mean to do that, and I feel really bad because that was-”

“Dean, it’s fine.”

“What?”

“It’s no big deal. Really. Honestly, it was hilarious. So don’t let it ruin your night, because I’m not gonna let it ruin mine.” Cas rests his head on Dean’s shoulder and places a quick kiss to the back of Dean’s hand. It calms Dean down enough that he lets himself cuddle under the blanket with Cas and watch the rest of the movie.

It isn’t long before the credits roll and the TV returns to the main menu. There’s a moment where their eyes meet, but they avert their gaze just as quickly, unsure as to what to say or do next.

“I want to show you something.” Cas grabs Dean’s hand and leads him to a room down the hall. He opens the door, and turns on the lights.

“Oh,” Dean gives Cas a sly smile, “You wanted to show me your bedroom? Cas, I gotta say, I didn’t peg you as the kind of guy who gives it up on the first date.”

“That’s not...” Cas closes his eyes, and lets out a defeated sigh. “Just sit on the bed.”

Dean follows suit, getting comfortable. He suspects the mattress is memory foam, his favorite. He looks around the room and notices that it’s very minimal. Different from how the rest of the house is decorated. 

The walls are painted in the faintest shade of gray, some artwork hung near the closet. The dressers are a contrasting dark wood that matches the floors, and there’s a fluffy rug at the foot of the bed. There aren’t any clothes strewn about, or ripped and faded posters on the wall, like in Dean’s room. Everything is neat and purposeful.

He notices the framed photo on Cas’s bedside table. It’s a woman looking down at a new born baby who has their hand wrapped around her finger. That must be Cas’s mom. She’s beautiful. He can tell where Cas gets his smile from.

“There may or may not be a meteor shower tonight,” Cas says, pulling the curtains back to reveal two huge windows.

“Come on Cas, you know we haven’t been able to see stars in years.” Dean stands up and looks out the window. Sure enough, there was nothing out there but the remnants of dead trees and a black sky. These days, the moon is hardly ever visible with all the smog.

“Well, through the power of technology, the impossible can become possible.”

Cas pulls out his phone and opens an app. Suddenly, the windows transform into a giant screen. The brand name “TwoWay” flashes on the screen and then a menu with several different options appears.

“No way, you have a TwoWay window?”

“Yup.”

“Dude, how do you afford all this cool stuff?”

“You’d be surprised how much the government is willing to pay you when you might be the only person capable of combating a global crisis.”

The way Cas says it is very nonchalant, and if Dean were in his shoes, he’d brag every chance he got. But he knows Cas really is in it to help the world, and that’s one of the things he likes the most about him.

“Can I see?” Dean asks, gesturing to Cas’s phone.

“Of course.” Cas hands it over and shows Dean how to use the app.

There are tons of options and features, which Dean thinks is wild because this is a window. The coolest part about his window is the gummy lizard that Sam got stuck to it a few years back. He could’ve scraped it off, but it kind of looks like stained glass when the sun shines through, so he kept it there.

He clicks on a couple different settings. The basic ones just change the screen to a solid color. Another button makes it strobe. There are some that are just basic backgrounds and graphics that come with the software.

Dean clicks on another, and it plays a series of almost hypnotic looping graphics, all of which have the worst quality. It looks like it may have been added by mistake.

“This one’s weird,” Dean says, watching the patterns shift from blue circles to green waves. He checks the name of it in the app, furrowing his eyebrows at the unrecognizable name. “What’s ‘Windows Media Player?’”

Cas shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t know.”

Dean continues through the app, making the outside appear to be a seaside getaway, a café near the Eiffel Tower, a sunset over the Taj Mahal. Dean can’t believe how realistic it is.

“Where would you like to be? Anywhere in the world, just name it,” Cas said taking back the phone and opening up the search tab.

Dean steps closer, wrapping his arms around Cas’s waist. He pulls him in close and rests his head on his shoulder. It’s intimate, and a risk Dean usually doesn’t take, but there’s something about Cas that makes him feel safe. Like it’s okay to let his guard down. 

“I want to be right here with you.” Dean turns his head to look into Cas’s eyes, and Cas returns the look with a smile. 

“Okay then.” Cas switches the screen to a clear night sky full of stars. He tells the lights in the room to lower, and they dim at his command. 

As he runs a hand up and down Dean’s back, keeping him close within his arms, he asks if Dean had ever made a wish upon a shooting star. Dean shakes his head, he’s never even seen one before. 

So Cas keeps a close watch on the screen, telling Dean to do the same, and they wait. After a couple minutes, a blazing streak of light flies from one side of the screen to the other. 

“There’s one! Quick, make a wish,” Cas says, closing his eyes to make his own wish. 

Dean squeezes his eyes shut tight, brain racing to figure out exactly what he should wish for. There are so many things he had been hoping would come true for him, but he knew there was one thing he’d want a little extra luck with. 

“So, what did you wish for?” Dean asks.

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.” 

Dean nods, getting an idea. “Can I take a guess?” 

“Sure.”

Dean pulls back a bit so he can look into Cas’s eyes. Still so beautiful. He looks down at his lips for just a second, wondering if he’d actually have it in him. He moves in closer, trying to read if he’s made the right call, and as soon as Cas’s eyes fall shut, he knows that he has. 

Dean places his hand on Cas’s cheek, pulling him in, closing the last few centimeters between them. And wow, it’s really happening. 

They’re kissing while shooting stars fly through the night. It’s like they aren’t even on Earth anymore. Or maybe they are, but this is a much better timeline. Here, things don’t hurt, there’s no obligation to seal away all the parts of you that want to touch and be touched, the little selfish parts of you that think maybe you deserve love in a time of chaos. 

Dean doesn’t want the kiss to end, because he fears once it does, the magic he’s feeling will disappear. Reality will sneak back in, seep into his veins, and he’ll remember that he has other duties to attend to. That being wrapped in the shelter of another man’s arms is not a chapter in the book of his life. 

With Dean’s lips on his, Cas is dizzy in the head. He had thought about this moment, but the real thing beats any concocted fantasy he might have had. Dean’s mouth is warm and inviting, and he kisses like it’s the air he needs to breathe. Like it frees something in him. Maybe it does. 

As they break apart, they both smile. They stay close, afraid to let the air out of the moment. It’s a fragile thing. 

“Will you stay a little longer?” Cas asks, voice low, nearly a whisper.

Dean nods, too gone to give a proper response. 

Cas pulls back the covers and lays on his side of the bed, patting the space next to him. “Come here.” 

Dean doesn’t think twice, making his way onto the bed next to Cas. Usually Dean is the one asking for someone to join him, but this time, it’s his turn to be wrapped up in someone’s arms. It makes him feel small, but not in a way that diminishes him. It’s soothing. It’s safe.

More than anything else, Cas just wants to keep him close. Make him happy. Build a world that exists just in this very moment. Let Dean enjoy the simplistic, easy love that he has to offer. He knows he deserves it, but that would be an awful lot to propose after just one kiss.

Dean rests his head on Cas’s chest and Cas holds him tight. There’s a hazy feeling around them, but it’s almost blissful. There’s a comfort to it that neither of them have previously known. Being so close to another person, surrounded by warm blankets, and feeling like that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. 

Cas leans down and kisses the top of Dean’s head, happy that at least for now, he can watch over him. Keep him safe. Make him feel at peace. If his wish comes true, he’d get to do this everyday, but Cas isn’t sure if a re-creation of a shooting star will still grant your wishes.

He clears those thoughts from his head, and focuses instead on the moment that he’s getting to experience. Another day, alive and well, with a beautiful man next to him. 

The two of them lay together like that, holding each other and watching the stars, until they both fall asleep. 

~~~~~*****~~~~~

The next morning, Cas slowly drifts into consciousness, the memories of last night playing back in his head. A smile spreads across his face as he starts to open his eyes. He turns over, reaching out to pull Dean into a hug, only to find that his bed is empty. 

Thinking maybe he was in the bathroom or went to get a glass of water, Cas searches his entire apartment, only to find it empty. 

Dean’s gone. 

Cas’s first thought is to text him, but they never exchanged phone numbers. He doesn’t use any social media, so that wouldn’t be of much help. It’s like a modern-dystopian Cinderella. Except Dean didn’t leave a shoe behind, and Cas doesn’t fancy himself much of a prince charming. 

He figures he’ll just have to wait it out and ask Dean about things the next time he comes to the Biodome. 

  
  


~~~~~*****~~~~~

  
  


A week goes by, and Dean still hasn’t showed up for the garden tour. Cas finds it odd, because Dean usually stops by at least once a week, if not more. He’s starting to get worried that maybe something happened to him. 

It goes against every code of ethics, but Cas doesn’t have any other option. He pulls up Dean’s information in their system of visitors and gets both a phone number and an address. He knows he shouldn’t violate someone’s privacy like this, but what if Dean is hurt? He just wants to make sure he’s okay. 

Cas types up a short text, explaining that it was him and that he got Dean’s number from his work computer, and that he just wanted to make sure he was okay. He was hoping Dean would be willing to overlook the creepy implications of Cas getting his phone number like that and instead see that he’s just worried about him. 

A little over an hour later, Dean texts him back. It’s short. 

Dean: “ _Yes, I’m okay._ ”

He could leave it there, but Cas has questions. 

Cas: “ _That’s good. Did I do something to upset you? You disappeared after our night together and then you haven’t come by the dome in a while_.”

Dean: “ _No, you did nothing wrong. I just needed to get home. I have some personal stuff I’ve been dealing with._ ” 

Cas: “ _Do you want to talk about it? I’d love to buy you lunch or something. Not gonna lie, I kinda miss you._ ” Cas’s heart flutters as he hits send. 

Dean: “ _Castiel, the sappy romantic. :p But yeah, I think it would be good if we talked in person. I’ll swing by your place around one?_ ”

Cas: “ _Sounds good_.”

Five minutes after one, there’s a knock on Cas’s door. He looks through the peephole and sees a large bouquet of bright yellow flowers. He opens the door and the flowers are slowly lowered to reveal Dean, with an apologetic look on his face. 

“I’m sorry I left without saying anything and I’m sorry I made you worry. I got you these as a sorry-thank-you combo. Because I did have a great time with you.” 

Cas takes the flowers and realizes they are the hybrid marigold/lemium flowers that he grew. 

“How did you get these without me noticing?”

“I had a friend pick them up for me.” 

“Well thank you. That’s very thoughtful. Come in.” Cas places the flowers in a vase as Dean gets comfortable on the couch. He gets both of them a glass of water before joining Dean in the living room. “So, what did you want to talk about?” 

Dean’s body goes ridgid, and Cas realizes maybe this isn’t going to be a happy talk. 

“This is going to be complicated, but I’m going to try my best to explain what’s going on.”

“Okay. Take your time.” 

Dean bites his lip, trying to figure out where to start. Trying to figure out how to tell Cas what’s been going on without seeming like the biggest asshole on Earth and without completely breaking his heart. 

“I like you a lot.”

“Oh no.” Cas sets his water on the table. “Are you about to break up with me before we’re even a couple?” 

“No. Well. Here’s the thing…” Dean pauses, letting out a sigh, “Last year, I applied to move to the Moon Colony, and the day you had asked me to come over was the same day I was told that I had been accepted.”

Cas can feel his heart plummet. Here’s this wonderful man, who he thought he might actually have a shot with, a potential future with, and he’s going to be moving to the fucking moon. Fantastic. 

“I know it’s sudden and a big change, but the program would help me and Sam out big time. If you move up there to work, they’ll pay off your Earth debts, and I still gotta pay for the house and credit card bills, and all of Sammy’s college loans are in my name. I could give both of us a fresh start by going up there. A clean slate.” 

“What do you want to do up there anyway? You know they don’t pay you until you’ve worked up there for a year, right?” Cas is filled with a mix of sadness, anger, and worry. The Moon Colony isn’t as grand of a place as the government likes to make it out to be. Dean would be working odd jobs here and there and he’d essentially be a servant to the state until he had a full year of work experience. The food is rationed. Contact with Earth is limited. It’s a huge adjustment.

“I was told they have some openings for mechanics and engineers on the Sea of Tranquility base. I figured I’d go up there, start at the bottom and try to work my way up to that.”

“And what about Sam? He’s okay with you leaving?” 

Dean goes quiet. “I haven’t told him.”

“Dean!”

“He’ll be fine without me. I got him set up good. He already has a job at some fancy intergalactic law firm. He’s making a life for himself. He doesn’t need me here anymore.” 

“And what about you?” 

Dean crosses his arms and sits back on the couch. His words, sharper. “What about me?

“Are you going to be okay leaving the only planet you’ve ever known? Are _you_ going to be okay without your brother? I don’t mean to overstep here, but it doesn’t sound like this is something you’re doing because you want to do it.”

“So what? I’m doing what I have to do.”

“And what about your happiness? What about your future? What about the people who care about you and want you to have a good life?”

“No one cares if I’m here or not.” The tone of Dean’s voice changes. It’s raw and vulnerable, like he just let out a secret he’s been holding for years. Like those words mean more than he’s letting on. The shell he’s built up around himself cracks just enough that someone might be able to slip in.

“I do.” Cas takes Dean’s hand and holds it between his. “And I’m going to be selfish for just a moment, and say that I would be heartbroken to live in a world that you aren’t a part of.” 

Dean tries to hold it together, but the pain creeps up his throat, his vision blurs and his eyes start to pour. Cas pulls him into a hug, and holds him. He doesn’t know if it’s what he needs right now, but it feels right. This man is falling apart before him, and all he wants to do is be the one who holds him together. 

Dean pulls away after a bit, once the crying has been reduced to sniffling. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I have to go.” Dean stands up and makes a b-line towards the door. His feet moving with a vengeance to get himself out of that apartment and away from the unfamiliar feeling of sympathy. Away from the man whose life he feels he’s intruding upon. Bringing his problems to a near-stranger’s doorstep and expecting him to care. Who is he to think he can do that? Who is he to think he’s worthy of that?

“Stay.” It’s all Cas says, and Dean stops on the spot. 

Dean turns slowly to see Cas walking over to him. “I’ve already made a fool of myself, I should go home.”

“No. Stay here. On Earth.” 

“I already told you, I-”

“You told me you need a job and you need money. What if I could get you a job at the Biodome? Would you consider that?” 

Dean is taken aback. He was expecting to bolt out the door and take the first ship out to the moon, and have that be the end of it. 

“That’s very generous of you, but I don’t think I’m qualified for anything there. Besides, the government is willing to pay everything off, and that’s not something I can just turn down to help weed some plants.” 

“I’ll make a position for you.”

“Yeah, right,” Dean scoffs.

“I run the company, Dean. If I want a position, I can make a position. And as it stands, I think the Biodome would benefit greatly from a ship mechanic on site. There are lots of ships that come down and need repairs before returning home, and the nearest station is a couple states over.” 

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

“Because I can.” Cas smiles. “And because I care about you. And this way, you won’t have to leave your brother behind. And, you know, I’d love to get to know you better, and that would be a lot easier if you were fixing ships on Earth instead of on the Moon.”

Cas walks closer, placing his hands on the sides of Dean’s face. He pulls him into a kiss, light and passionate. There’s so much behind it, desire, compassion, desperation, love. As Cas pulls away, he searches Dean’s eyes for any sign that he might consider what he’s about to say.

“Please stay.” 

Dean runs his thumb over Cas’s cheek, trying to feel connected, like maybe that touch would ground him and it would make the decision easier. If anything, it makes it harder. He likes Cas, and he didn’t really even want to leave that morning, but he knew there was no future between them. He’d be off to the moon in a week or two, no sense in stringing along an amazing man just to break his heart. But then again, here he is, breaking his heart. And here Cas is, begging him to stay. 

To stay. It sounds so simple, but everyone knows, life is never that simple. What earth would need to be moved to make space for him? What soil would he poison by sinking his roots down deep? Would the world not benefit from him being far from its tortured atmosphere? 

Then he looks at Cas, his eyes a salt water blue and pleading. Cas, who makes his heart feel easy. Makes love seem like something Dean could hold in his hands without it crumbling. Cas, whose arms feel like a summer morning, like a promise that everything is going to be okay. And Dean believes it. 

And damn it, no, he doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay, and that scares the shit out of him, because if he stays, he risks losing it all. But then Cas looks at him with tears welling up in his eyes.

“The world has seen so much pain, Dean. Why add to that? Haven’t we suffered enough?” He rests his forehead against Dean’s. “I’m asking you to choose this. Choose happiness, and hope. Choose to stay. Please.”

Dean almost says yes, because he’s never felt anything like this before in his life. It’s intoxicating, being around Cas. Feeling like he’s important to someone. But he knows there’s a bigger picture to focus on. It’s about more than just him.

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Dean-”

“Listen. This is a lot. So, give me a little time to consider everything. Okay?” 

Cas nods, figuring he better take that small slice of a win, and run with it. “Okay.”

Dean gives Cas another kiss before heading out the door, heading home to contemplate what his future holds. 

  
  


~~~~~*****~~~~~

The paperwork was filed, and it was accepted last week. Today, though, it becomes official. Dean Winchester is about to start a major new chapter of his life. He didn’t expect to be so nervous, but the voice in the back of his head keeps making him wonder if he made the right choice. 

The Moon Colony ship lands on the track, the wind blowing fierce against Dean’s jumpsuit. It looks different up close. Not as intimidating. The metal and pipes gleam in the sun as the exhaust mixes with the tainted Earth air. 

The pilot steps out and shakes Dean’s hand. Then hands over the security key to the door. 

“I just need a refuel, and if you don’t mind, could you check the gears and cables in the back lift? I think they may need to be oiled.” 

“Yes, sir.” Dean makes a note of what to check. “It should be about an hour. If you’d like to wait inside, the garden and cafeteria are open.”

“Guess I could kill some time.” The pilot heads into the Biodome, leaving Dean to do his mechanic work. 

After work, Dean makes a quick call to Sam, just to check in. Now that Sam has finally forgiven him for not telling him about the Moon Colony thing, they’re back on speaking terms. Dean wasn’t really worried though. Sam was never good at holding a grudge.

Sam fills Dean in on what’s been going on in his life. He’s doing well. Turns out, there’s this cute girl who works with him and he finally got the courage to ask her out. Her name is Eileen, and Sam has said himself that she’s intimidating because she’s smarter than him. Dean thinks that’s a good thing, because he could use someone to keep him in check. Most importantly though, Sam is happy, and living his best life.

Dean hangs up the phone and heads home to his little apartment across the street. He opens the door, and can smell something delicious cooking. 

“Babe, I hope you’re hungry. I’m making chicken parm.” Cas scoops up a spoon full of tomato sauce and runs over to Dean. “You have to taste this. It’s amazing.” 

“Can I get in the house first?” Dean laughs, taking off his coat, and his gas mask. He leans down to taste his boyfriend’s homemade tomato sauce. “Oh yeah, that _is_ amazing.” 

“It better be. I’ve been working on a new soil that soaks up the toxic gas and converts it to pure CO2. I grew the tomatoes in it and they turned out wonderful. I grew and handpicked the basil, too.” 

“What are you? Like, some kind of world-renowned botanist or something?” Dean asks, sarcastically.

“Something like that.” 

Dean helps set the table. He’s still not used to having actual meals like this, regularly, and at an actual dinner table. But he likes it. He likes putting the matching dinner plates on the place mats that he and Cas picked out together. He likes setting out the cutlery, made of actual metal, not plastic. He likes pouring lemonade into actual glasses. It feels like he finally gets to have a piece of a normal life. One where he isn’t the sole provider and backbone of the house, and instead he gets to share it. He gets to be a part of it. Enjoy it, even. 

As he grabs some napkins, Cas sneaks a quick kiss and it feels like a dream. Neither of them are sure how long it will last, or if they’ll even be able to survive much longer, given the conditions on Earth, but they’re happy to have another day. They look forward to seeing what the future holds, because at one time, the future seemed like a futile wish. 

In the flash of time they occupy in the grand scheme of life, they plan on focusing on the joy that’s right in front of them, and the wonder yet to come. They were sent spinning, free-falling with a crash landing, into this life, but together, they’ve managed to be a grounding force in a teetering world. 

If nothing else, at least for this moment, they have each other. They have a new found love, and the hope that tomorrow will come, and bring with it a feather-light peace. They’ve chosen hope. They’ve chosen to fight. They’ve chosen to stay and see how the rest of their story unfolds.


End file.
